Family Over Everything

Family Over Everything

You’re a new resident to Salisbury and you hear that a basketball game is coming up. You make plans to take your kid to see the game and you’re excited to possibly do something that you would normally do in any city. You sit down with your popcorn in hand and your kid probably has some skittles or candy of some sort. The game is intense, and the atmosphere is great!! There’s a lot of cheering and some yelling at the refs or the coaches. Hey! It’s a competition! Then you look around and you realize that a lot of the people in the stands are sitting with grandparents, aunts, uncles, and even siblings. It was when I started attending functions that had to do with children, that I realized there is a deep love for family in the African American communities of Salisbury.

Growing up between two cities, being the Bronx, New York and Charlotte, North Carolina, I saw a lot of broken families and absent fathers. Coming from a single-parent-home myself, it was a promise that I made to myself that I would not raise my kids in a home that is not a two-parent home. I am so grateful to be living the dream I wanted for myself.

This story isn’t about me though. I started thinking about February being Black History Month and one of the things that stood out for me, in Rowan County, is the value placed on families in the African American community. It is evident during sports seasons and holidays. It is evident in the churches in the area, and during the parades that we have, where you see families of multiple generations who sit together.


Timothy Bates interacting with students at one of the programs in Rowan County.



If you are on social media at all, you will find many saying, “family over everything!” The love for family is strong in Rowan County. The most common question I get asked is “who is your family?” I usually explain how my husband’s family is from here and how my brother-in-law is well known and loved throughout the area. During the holidays, you will see driveways and streets lined with cars as several families gather. That love is evident in the size of homes here in Rowan County. There aren’t many two-bedroom houses and most are three bedrooms or larger, which again points to the value of families.

To be sure I was not just basing this off my opinion, I decided to ask a few people what they thought about African American families in the county, and what follows are the answers to my questions that I sent them. I asked two questions:

  1. Am I right in my observations that many of the black men in Salisbury do take care of their children and are active in their kids lives even if they are not in a relationship with the mother?

  2. Do you believe that Salisbury overall has great family values?

The Automatic Response 

I first asked my sister-in-law, Ebony Harris. She is married to my brother-in-law, Robert Harris, and together they have five children. I’ve watched my brother-in-law be there for all his kids and they work together for their family. So, I kind of knew what her answer would be, but I wanted to be sure. She said, “I do think that the men in this town are fathers to their children and play active roles in their kids’ lives, whether they are with mothers or not. I am not certain I can answer the second question other than thinking about my own family, but if I had to say one way or the other, I’d say there is a sense of great family values in the black community. I see FOE (family over everything) a lot on Facebook. I think the black community tries to instill some sort of value in their families.”

To ensure I was able to shed the correct light on black families and the men who are active in their children’s’ lives, I decided to ask Sierra Watkins, a native to Salisbury and the owner of Siebration Bar, which is currently being developed. I provided the same questions to her and her response was, “I wouldn’t say the majority of the men take care of their family, but a lot of the men around here do take care of their children.” Watkins continued to explain that “the family values around here are pretty dope!” She is a single parent, but has a very strong village around her, from her family to people who are not blood related to her. Which leads me to say, that even single parents here have the ability to be connected and grounded.

Here! Have a Fact! 

According to Kidscount.org, as of June 12, 2018, single parents are raising more than 1/3 of America’s kids. 66% are African American families. According to the same site, kids are less likely to experience poverty if they are in a two-parent home. Since you cannot fix the structure of family, it is imperative for the organizations that step up to provide stability to the families and to the school system in Rowan County. Rowan County has some exceptional programs that go above and beyond to ensure that the kids of the county, no matter their family structure, know that they are loved and appreciated.

Programs for Our Kids in Rowan County 



There are men in our community that have stepped up and have made sure, no matter if the child’s father is active or not, they are visible and accessible. “Man Up Monday” was started by Pastor Timothy Bates and George Bates. Its mission is to get men of the community actively involved in the schools, the community, and the overall lives of the youth. The goal is to bridge the gap between the community, schools, children, their families, and community leaders, by being a physical presence in the schools and surrounding neighborhoods. The men with the organization volunteer, mentor, and advocate our youth in a positive direction either through group activities or one-on-one instructions. They are like fathers, brothers, and uncles to many young men that may not have them. They are positive role models and they live what they speak.

Man Up Mondays

I reached out to Pastor Bates and asked what his inspiration was for starting “Man Up Mondays” and he said, “When I started it there were four African American male teachers present, and my son taught in middle school at the time. He said most of his students had not been taught by an African American male nor had they ever had to take direction from one, including parents and teachers.” He chose Monday to provide motivation at the beginning of the week with the idea that it would carry throughout the week.

George Bates handing out treats to the teachers!


Team Up Tuesday

Chariel Dye heads up “Team Up Tuesday” in honor of the late Latasha Wilks. I asked her if she felt like men in our community play an active role in our community and her was reply was “yes.” The majority of the black men she has come in contact with in Salisbury play an active role in their children lives. She was a preschool teacher at a few of the childcare centers in Salisbury, and often times the fathers were picking up the children and coming in for classroom events. She went on to say that many of the fathers may not have had their fathers in their lives, therefore were making efforts to not have their children have the same experiences. She believes that family values could be better, but sited social media for the gap there.

When asked about “Team Up Tuesday,” she explained that it was a spinoff of “Man Up Mondays” to get women involved as well. They have the same mission as Man Up Mondays and team up weekly. These organization visit schools, gather supplies, and work tirelessly week after week to ensure the success of as many kids as they can.


Chariel Dye speaking to interested students!


There are others that are not mentioned here, but that is not to say they are not active. Family values in the African American community in Rowan County is alive and well. I am thankful for such a strong and connected community. To view more information about these organizations, visit the links below:

Man Up Monday: contact information, Timothy Bates email nfldad79@yahoo.com
Team Up Tuesdays (704) 738-7077

About The Author

Sabrina Harris

I guess you could say I’m a housewife on steroids! I’m always busy and I hardly ever sit still, even late into the night. The reason for this is because I believe in life living on purpose which means that you touch as many lives as you can while being a positive productive citizen in the community you live in. I’m a mother to 5 beautiful children, a new age minister wife (in my book that’s a thing), and a successful Small Business owner of Sabrina Bougie Styles of Salisbury where I sew. I look forward to sharing with you why I love Rowan County and what’s keeping me busy.